"An artist cannot fail; it is a success to be one."

A man named Charles Horton Cooley said that.

I have no idea what Charles Horton Cooley looked like, so New Neighbor No. 8 will have to stand in. I hope Charles won't mind.

My mother once said:

"You're famous to me!"

Although it was a sweet, mother-like thing to say, somehow it didn't necessarily make me feel more successful.

F Minus, Tony Carrillo

Occasionally I'm forced to do something as an artist that makes me really nervous. This week it was submit a sketch with a proposal. Drawing is my artistic Achilles' Heel, and nothing makes me more afraid that someday I'll be kicked out of the club.

Well, drawing AND talking about art. I think because I don't have an art degree, I haven't learned to converse with the proper amount of artsy B.S.

But take heart, would-be and wannabe artists everywhere, because today I have some

Friday Fun for Everyone!

It's PIXMAVEN, a little gem that will generate all manner of artistic baloney for you to say when you need to sound educated in the art criticism arena.

All you do is submit a 5 digit number, and the site strings together some phrases from a bunch of numbered nonsense that can be applied in any art situation to virtually guarantee success.
By inserting my childhood zip code, for instance, I was able to come up with this:

"It's difficult to enter into this work because of how the reductive quality of the sexual signifier verges on codifying the remarkable handling of light."

How many times have I wished I'd said that?

And my old Seattle zip code yielded this:

"As an advocate of the Big Mac Aesthetic, I feel that the mechanical mark-making of the biomorphic forms brings within the realm of discourse the eloquence of these pieces."

When's my next gallery opening?
Or is it time for a new artist statement?

Or maybe I should have generated a smart-sounding explanation of my dumb-looking sketch before I sent it in . . .

All I know is,
success may finally be
within my grasp!

Pearls Before Swine, Stephan Pastis


Angela Recada said...

I'm so glad I found your blog1 I love your attitude, and I'm going to be using this phrase-generator often.

From now on I will be able to say profound things like, "Although I am not a painter, I think that the optical suggestions of the biomorphic forms makes resonant a participation in the critical dialogue of the 90s."

Sums it up, don't you think?


susan m hinckley said...

I think that applies to almost any piece of mine, and probably to your work as well. I only wish I'd thought of it . . .

VO said...

Oh yes, "I feel that the disjunctive perturbation of the purity of line contextualize a participation in the critical dialogue of the 90s."

Next assignment: Contexualize perturbations.

abi said...

Can I play to?

I really wanted you to know that it's difficult to enter into this work because of how the reductive quality of the gesture threatens to penetrate the accessibility of the work.

SO.. why even try?

Allie said...

I feel smarter already! I may have to give myself an honorary art degree.
BTW - I posted a picture for you on my blog - all your fault, for the Nancy Drew post!

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