Can this be an excused absense even if I don't have a Dr.'s note?

When I looked in the mirror this morning, I looked a lot like this. Not that I had become a 50 year old man, but it did seem that someone had done major dental work on every tooth in my head during the night, then stuffed my nose with rags and backed a truck over my body a few times for good measure.

No, it wasn't exactly like that . . . for one thing, I was definitely not wearing lipstick.

That doesn't sound quite right either, actually . . .


On Monday night we were walking the dog and we were just passing the house with the really barky golden retrievers when I said to Russ, "Oh my, I believe I have a sore throat!"

Just like that.

It's not as if the order matters, since all roads lead to the same miserable Kleenex box.

Chelsea called last night and I told her I was sick and she asked, "Do you have swine flu?"

And I said "no," but I laughed because we're both rather medically suggestible. In fact, I was banned from watching Marcus Welby as a child after I developed leprosy.

So then I asked her the only responsible question I could think of which was, "Why, do you?"

"No," she reported happily. "In fact I believe it's the first major pandemic I haven't had!"

Sometimes it would be nice if your kids skipped inheriting some of your less useful traits.

And I do probably feel as sick as a pig. Or I believe the expression is "sick as a dog." Whatever. Whichever feels sicker.

At any rate today's planned post has been put on hold, because I'm busily engaged in a scientific exploration of the effects of mixing a variety of over-the-counter cold medicines with Diet Coke.

So far I have not cured the common cold.

So you'll have to

entertain yourselves while I'm gone (please don't have too much fun, or at least keep it down so I can get a little rest.)

And don't forget to enter Small Works'
Second Week of Birthday Month Blog Giveaway
by leaving a comment on the previous post or
sending me an email. Someone has already actually
requested that I send them the "squirrel's nest" of
thread and wool bits on my desk. But don't worry --
I have plenty of good stuff left to send
the rest of you!



Allie said...

You've missed your calling. You should be doing stand-up comedy. Or sit-down comedy, since you're feeling poorly. Honestly - I didn't know getting sick could be so funny, Susan!!!!! I hope you feel better just as quickly as you got sick.

abi said...

Just don't mix minty mentos with all that diet coke. Hope you recover from swine flu soon!

lchedblom said...

your powers of description are such that i had to go purell myself before i could even write a comment.

hope you feel better soon. (now go disinfect that keyboard before we all catch swine flu!) --luanne

Jake and Chelsea said...

the blogging world ought know that i did not ask if my mother had swine flu. i asked if she had "H1N1", which is the proper name for it. The pork industry had been emphatic about the renaming. Wouldn't want to give animals that sleep in their own feces an unclean image.

feel better mom!

VO said...

Feel better, use tissues that have aloe or whatever kind doesn't rip the skin off of your face.

And Advil.

But remember I am not a doctor, nor do I play one of tv. I'm just a plain ole mom.

susan m hinckley said...

My apologies to any pork industry professionals I may have offended. Of course I meant H1N1. And Hannah got me some of those delightful aloe-y tissues yesterday, which has been a tremendous help.

Thanks for the well wishes!

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