"Self-sabotage is when we say we want something and then go about making sure it doesn't happen." -- Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby


It is day 5 of bird drama at Small Works Usually that would mean I've been stitching for 5 days on a bird and it won't sing.  Today, it's more sinister (and even more beyond my control!)

A robin has been repeatedly ramming itself into the window of my studio since Thursday.  It's sitting on a rail that runs about a foot from my window and every few seconds, it just flies up and throws itself at it, resulting in an unsettling "scritch-scratch-thump . . . scritch-scratch-thump".  I am going slowly insane.

Or the robin is.  Or both. 

I've tried scaring it away (it only goes away long enough for me to sit down to work again), talking sweetly to it, and explaining that it is being stupid and will eventually kill itself in my most authoritative voice.  I've inspected the surrounding area for any possible nest or something that may be confusing or threatening it, but aside from a copious amount of robin droppings and a feather or two on the ground, I can't see anything at all.

Sometimes I wish someone would stop me
from banging my head against the same metaphorical windows again and again.
(They probably try, of course, and I'm just not paying attention.)  

The universe could at this very moment be waving its arms wildly at me and by turns yelling and gently explaining about some aspect of my behavior or another. But I'm pretty hard-headed.

Last night I came across a line in the book I'm reading that I just loved.  It said:

If there is going to be any striking down 
you have to do it yourself. 
God does not do it for you.

-- Madeline L'Engle (from Camilla)

So if you happen to see me ramming myself repeatedly into a window at any time in the future, won't one of you kindly leave a comment and let me know? 

Oh wait, Susan (you're thinking) -- you mean like:

Having to lose the same 7 pounds over and over and over and over again?

Having to sort through PILES of studio detritus to unearth your desk on roughly the same schedule?

Having to engage in spring cleaning that, if you'd done spring cleaning in 2009, would have been so much easier?

(All of these behaviors come factory-equipped with a supply of intentions to, after THIS time, change my ways so as not to have to repeat them.)

Thanks for your input.  It is invaluable . . .
But we'll skip the rest of the list, if you don't mind.

(Happy Monday!)



luanne said...

You may have already googled about the robin, but if not, here's some info: http://www.learner.org/jnorth/tm/robin/FAQHouses.html

Be glad you only have 7 pesky yo-yo pounds! Some of us didn't catch on so quickly.

Leenie said...

There's that other quote about doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Think we all do it. Hope your robin friend finds another way to be crazy soon. Perhaps his lady flew off with another, but he has certainly chosen a tough way out.

Loved the L'Engle quote. So very true. And yet we try so hard to blame our problems on God.

Pam said...

Oh yeah Susan - can relate to your list there. Too bad about the bird - have you tried one of those cut-out cats that they use to deter birds from crops in the garden? I'm not one to give advice on battering against an obstacle to the point of exhaustion. High school teaching has its moments leaving you a panting mess of ruffled feathers.

Judy said...

Self-sabotage? Yeah, I know about that! Great insights, as usual. And how is it I've never heard of that L'Engle book? One more for my Amazon Wishlist!

susan m hinckley said...

It's an interesting book -- Hannah has read everything L'Engle has ever written (more than I have). I recently read "The Small Rain" (her first) and I don't know what to think about it. This one is strange as well. Waiting for Hannah to come home so I have someone to talk to about them!

Allie said...

Try hanging cd's on that window - birds don't like them. I love that first quote, oh boy is that speaking to me tonight!

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