"True friends stab you in the front." -- Oscar Wilde

I was reading an interview with 
the amazing Nora Ephron
the other day in which she mentioned something about "bloggers who write earnestly about their lives for their 42 readers" . . .  and it made me say "ouch."

Then about a second later it made me think, hey -- who doesn't want 42 additional people to complain to when it snows ELEVEN INCHES a full two weeks before Thanksgiving?  

(It's hard to be thankful for November snow in Minnesota, because November snow can so easily hang around to become April snow, but I digress . . .)

I've heard all the brouhaha about online friends not being the same as "real friends" and about the social isolation people are suffering and blah blah blah, but I got a lovely note over the weekend from a reader I didn't know I had in San Diego, who offered to send me an incredible garage sale find she had come across that made her think of me.

Not real friends?!   I don't think so.
I have plenty of real friends who don't feel compelled to offer me their fabulous shopping finds.

I was grateful, and humbled, to realize I have more friends than I can count (simply because I don't know about them -- not because I can't count to 42).  

It made my snowy mood a little less . . . snowy.

I also had a phone call over the weekend from a very old friend  -- the kind you meet when they sit next to you in 2nd grade.  Friends who knew you before you lost all your baby teeth are truly old friends by the time you begin to lose your hair, and they are the rarest and best kind.

We only speak once a year or so, and after asking me how the family was and such, he said, "I thought you'd be living in New Mexico by now.  What are you doing toward that goal?"  

I laughed and said, "I hoped I'd be living there by now too, and we're not any closer to that goal than we were last time I talked to you."

And he said, "Well, Susan, I wouldn't say this to just anyone, but you're a very old friend so I feel I can say it to you -- you're not getting any, well, you know . . . younger."

After thanking him for pointing that out, I reminded him that he is getting older at an even faster rate than I am (being almost a full year older) and then countered with, "And I thought you'd be married by now."

It probably wasn't a very nice thing to say,
even to a very very old friend, but then it isn't nice
to point out to a Minnesotan that they still don't
live in New Mexico on the very weekend that they're
digging out from the first big snowstorm.

At any rate, thank goodness for old friends that you can have those kinds of conversations with.  And thank goodness for new friends that you may not even know you have yet.

But most especially, thank goodness 
for all 42 of your blog friends -- 

for whom you can write about it later,
making your snowy Monday just a little bit less . . . snowy.

(You know who you are.)  



Karen M said...

You are more likely to brighten my day than she is, so keep writing, please. I'd be one of your 42 anyday. Sorry about the snow.

Michele said...

But you have cool pictures! Yikes about the snow. I'd take half of it. It never snows here. :(

Leenie said...

You have FORTY TWO! Cool! Congrats on having so many friends. I'll bet there are even more than that who enjoy your funny, creative and well designed little blog. How else could we have friends we visit with almost daily all over the world, who share common interests, and who think we are wonderful?

Even if there weren't any readers I'd keep on blogging--for myself. Cheapest therapy there is.

luanne said...

Usually I really enjoy Nora but I agree -- ouch, that one stings. Especially since 42 whole readers would be a lifetime blogging achievement award for me! But for me blogging is my talk therapy, and finding new friends has been a lovely bonus.

Snow sounds like a good reason to stay inside and stitch -- and maybe watch Bonanza, haha!

Karen S said...

This is an interesting post. When I'm talking to my husband about someone I know -- he often asks if it's someone I know online. It's strange that I visit with my online buddies at least a couple of times a week and see my local friends less than monthly. The line between friends in real life and online friends becomes even more blurred when you have friends IRL who live across the country.

That said -- I think it's all very cool -- especially for anyone who's at all shy around new people IRL. What a fun way to make friends (And I bet you have more than 42).

krex said...

As an aspie who is often either mute from fear or to verbose (from nerves), to talk to people in RL....blogs ARE my way to feel connected to other people who I would be to shy to actually approach or who would be to freaked by my weirdness to talk to me .

Keep on blogging and sharing your art, wit and wisdom as you do have friends out in cyber space who are listening .

susan m hinckley said...

Thanks for all your kindnesses, blog friends -- for someone like me (with acute social anxiety) having a blog is a wonderful way to connect with people I would most certainly never have had a conversation with otherwise. It makes my life richer in a new way, one not previously available to people like me!

And I said it on facebook the other day and I meant it . . . the voices in your head get really loud when your children have grown up and moved away and your dog doesn't speak English.

Thanks for your friendship, my most valued 42!

mimi k said...

the thing about blog friends- they actually get you and what you are interested in. That is why they are there! I've met some amazing people/friends through my blog. It has been an amazingly social plus for a work-alone, socially awkward introvert!

Blog Widget by LinkWithin