If you are technophobic, is there an app for that?

I'm resistant to change.

I believe Mr. Monk summed it up with his very old rule:

"Never 

change 

anything.

  

Ever."

Something like that, anyway.  So when one of my children was discussing their TV angst with me while wrestling with the myriad technological choices inherent in a fifty-two inch purchasing decision, I had to kindly point out that they were probably barking up the wrong tree.

The TV in my studio, from which I consume approximately 96.2% of my daily television diet, has a whopping 13" diagonal screen (in glorious color!) and recently celebrated a birthday a few notches ahead of my college junior.

In fact, when we were so rudely forced to get satellite as a result of the digital switch last year, the technician scored extra points for creativity, stripping the cables down to the wires so he could rig some kind of connection to the thing that would work.

I was just glad he was old enough to recognize it as a television set -- a younger technician would probably have scratched his head and said, "Dude."

It's the Zenith Space Commander 400!  Remote control TV tuning with silent sound!


But I'm really telling you this because my beautiful new custom computer, with which Santa so kindly surprised me, is still sitting in boxes on the floor while I'm writing this post on a computer that was only invented and sold because the HP-by-phone computer salesman recognized my husband's voice as belonging to someone who:

a) was calling from a landline, and

b) absolutely would not know better no matter
what they tried to sell him.

Easy mark.

This computer is so slow, in fact, that when my son-in-law had to borrow my scanner the other day, he explained to me gently that my computer "doesn't work."

Of course it WORKS, dear.

I've built my life around the thing. I'm almost as attached to it as I am to my 4 year old cell phone that only makes phone calls.

Besides -- using s-l-o-w and/or malfunctioning, outdated technological devices builds character.  I think next I'm going to loan him my sewing machine.

And here's a question that could be 

beneficial for us all to consider: 

was George Jetson really any better off 

than Fred Flintstone? 

But someday soon, I'm going to get somebody to help me unpack my shiny new beast and then I'll begin the arduous task (with the support of the geek squad, so conveniently living in my basement) of transferring ALL my artwork and illustrations and vintage nonsense from the now-vintage computer to the modern one.

The very idea is giving me the shakes.

I think I'll go watch a Bonanza re-run.

 

Hoss and Little Joe listen while Adam explains the transition to digital TV.